So. You may be looking for a wii this christmas. Well, forget it. Just give up and die. Give up, die, dig your own grave, shovel dirt over yourself, pat it all nice and forget about it.
1. There aren't very many. I don't know why. Nintendo decided that they wanted to see people fight to the death across America. Possibly with spears.
2. SO MANY PEOPLE are looking for them. I get asked 100 times a day. 100 times! I counted. I have the same conversation every time:
"Do you have any wiis?" (No.) "Do you know when you'll be getting any aforementioned wiis?" (oh, don't you wish) "Don't you have a list I can get on?"(Absolutely not, but if I did, there would be 2316 people ahead of you - do you mind waiting?) "Can't you hold a wii for me when you get one and call me up on my private cell phone to tell me so you can hold one for hours while rabid soccer moms chew on your flesh and rend your uniform while you hold the wii aloft, mere inches from their clutching grasp?" (letmethinkaboutitNO.)
I sympathize. I really do. In the end, we're all just people - you who desperately want a wii for your child, your grandma, your dying hamster - I don't know - And I who must endure a battery of repetitive and indignant questioning while still trying to remain civil and compassionate. I wish I could sell them, I really do, but we just. don't. have any.
And so, gentle and ungentle customers, we are at an impasse. I sit behind the fortress of my less desireable items - my PS3 portcullis with 360 crenellations - armed only with courtesy. And yet . . . You approach me and my ilk full of righteous consumerism, cash in hand, a simple requst falling from your lips. Wiis. That's all you really want, and all I really don't have.
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I think Nintendo wants to thin out the American population by having people fight each other with the Wii nunchucks that would otherwise have been used for playing Super Mario Galaxy with the empty space reserved for their nonexistent Wii.
It's funny; on a recent visit to the nearby Gamestop, I saw two of the Wii's on sale in prominent display above their registers and not one person in the store asked for them.
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