Fine, brain. Have it your way. I'm just gonna sit here and type until you get your lazy ass in gear and remember what it is we were going to talk about.
Like that's going to happen.
Oh! Wait!
So, Jinglebells. I have to say that the genre of Christmas music is one of the ones that I revile the most. Some songs are catchy. Some have more genuine depth, but most are simply bubbly tunes from decades ago that get done and redone, arranged, cut, mangled and parodied for commercials. All in all, if I have to hear another rendition of "Silver Bells" ("Hark how the bells . . ." not " . . . It's Christmastime in the city") twisted to sell one more gadget or donut or whatever, I will throw up and die. Although I do kind of like the GPS tracker commercial that has the moose.
"There's that moose again!" bwahahaha!!
But getting back to the point: No one knows more than one verse of "Jingle Bells." We hear this song everywhere: supermarkets, in the car, in the mall, even most restaurants . . . Why has no one ever bothered with the later verses? It's true they're archaic and almost unnecessary (putting forth more or less the same sentiment and being somewhat more general), but it shocks me how something can be so important to us and simultaneously so very trivial. We all have memories of singing this song with friends and family, but who even knew there were multiple verses?
But who cares! It's just a stupid Christmas song! It's a shame no one's gone to the wikipedia article and pasted the missing verses on this blog . . .
- A day or two ago
- I thought I'd take a ride
- And soon Miss Fanny Bright
- Was seated by my side,
- The horse was lean and lank
- Misfortune seemed his lot
- He got into a drifted bank
- And then we got upsot!
- Now the ground is white
- Go it while you're young,
- Take the girls tonight
- and sing this sleighing song;
- Just get a bob tailed bay
- Two forty as his speed
- Hitch him to an open sleigh
- And crack! you'll take the lead.
Anyway, the next time you're forced through another round of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," Think of a drunken Miss Fanny Bright lying in a snowdrift with an unlucky horse and a lusty young man.
My Christmas gift to you.
1 comment:
I've been finding Christmas music for my mom at her insistence - weird in itself since we don't do much to celebrate it - and I've been trying to find "good" versions of all the traditional songs.
Right now, I've been listening to Diana Krall's version of "Jingle Bells," a collection of Bing Crosby's performances on Christmas songs, Aimee Mann's (!) Christmas album, and Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas. Wow. Listening closely to how they perform these songs and what songs are chosen - especially with Mann - it's like eating gingersnap cookies and then finding out they've been laced with LSD.
The moral of the story: Christmas music - more subversive than your local anarchist.
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